"I feel like going to bed and nursing a bottle of scotch."-Eric von Pierce, on election jitters.

Ladies and gents, I'm gonna share a little election-night story with you.

On the morning of June 24th, 2002, I was stood up by President Bush.

::rewind the tape on Nicole's life:: On June 22, 2002, I moved into the LXR Residence Hall at Georgetown University for National Recognition Week of United States Dept. of Education Presidential Scholars. (I was smart in high school, who knew?) I was a little psyched at getting to meet the President of the US...I mean, yeah, I still harbored the sneaking suspicion that he was a conniving buffoon, but still. It's the freakin' President, regardless of legitimacy,  hence the name, Presidential Scholars. On the morning of June 24th, 2002, as the buses pulled up outside the Daughters of the American Revolution Hall in DC, 141 of the nation's most intelligent, freshly-minted high-school graduates were told by our "counselors" (former Scholars, one of whom was the loudest human being in human existence), "The President went out to see the wildfires in Arizona."  This wasn't pleasant to most of us, especially since our parents paid to fly up here to see us photographed with the President...but we took it in stride. Surely he'd leave Laura behind, right? Since one of her primary directives was education?

Well, we didn't meet the First Lady. Instead, in the words of one of my fellow scholars, "We got Dick." Which would have been okay, if it hadn't been for the part of the ceremony where we all shook hands with the guy. As the female scholar from Alabama (the man scholar from Alabama was none other than McGill grad Zach Madonia, whose mom is the theology department's own Mrs. Madonia. Small world, huh?), I was the second person to walk across the stage. I shook hands with Dick, who said, "Congratulations." To Zach, he had said, "Good Morning." To Mike, the scholar from Alaska that I stood beside under the hot spotlights for almost an hour, he said, "How's it going?" An interesting progression, since he repeated it, so that every third scholar got the same message. Now, the Presidential Scholars aren't what you'd call the dumbest bricks on the block. So, when they're bored on the stage, they start listening, noticing, and figuring these things out. By the time it got down to the kids from Tennessee, they were springing Cheney's own lines on him, leaving him somewhat flustered. But I'm sure he had a rough day.

Yes, I touched Dick Cheney. It's not something I'm proud of, although I suppose it's better in a sense because it's really the hand that moves the country....and here's a photo to prove that I'm not making this up, although it has been doctored in photoshop, at the time, I had nowhere near the skills I have now and wouldn't have been able to just create this from scratch.

Vice-Presidential Scholars 2002: We Got Dick.

Peace out, kids. Maybe we'll get a new Pres. for Christmas.